It's a Fart Story, so I Write About It, OK?

It appears that the Royal Navy went on high alert in response to whale farts.

Burritos need to be kept far away from the Royal Navy:

The Royal Navy of the United Kingdom started a frenzied hunt for phantom Russians off the coast after hearing two weird sounds in the water, only to discover that the noises were caused by a gassy whale, an official told The Sun.

Naval authorities were concerned that one of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s drone submarines had placed a listening device on the ocean floor between two Scottish islands, launching an inquiry.

The two toots were discovered around 100 miles from where the UK’s doomsday submarines are located.

“We have been analyzing the sounds and now believe it was a marine mammal. A whale” the officer informed the British tabloid.

The sound, initially identified by analysts as a man-made noise, had never before been detected by the sensors, causing the navy to misinterpret Das Boof for Das Boot, according to the article.

Not to toot my own horn (no apologies for that turn of phrase), but I like to think of myself as the go to source for flatulence related news.