I Am Not Sure That This Qualifies as News

So some researchers have determined that sometimes one cat will groom another bust to annoy that cat.

Given that cat grooming is a dominance play, and given the behavior of our cats relative to each other, Destructo will groom Meatball* when he wants her to go away, this has been common knowledge for about 3,000 years.

How about studying something really important, like why cats will suddenly stare intently at nothing for 15 minutes.

Seriously, what the f%$# are they seeing? 

Let’s just say cats have a reputation — of being standoffish, manipulative, maybe even jerks. Here’s more corroborating evidence: Scientists are beginning to think that even seemingly innocent cat behavior — grooming another cat — might not always be nice.

The licking can be a method of subtle torment, according to new research published in the journal Applied Animal Behavior Science.

Mutual grooming, called allogrooming, is widespread in the animal kingdom and found in primates, birds, horses and even insects. The grooming is typically focused on parts of the body that are difficult for an animal to reach on its own, like its back and neck, making the behavior an act of kindness that supports social bonding and wins friends.

Like primates that pick lice from each other’s backs, cats that lick each other have also been considered an indicator of social bonding. “So far, mutual grooming in cats has been categorized as affiliative, or ‘friendly,’ cat behavior,” said Noema Gajdos Kmecova, a cat behavioral scientist at Ghent University and an author of the new study.

Or so we thought.

Morgane Van Belle, another cat behavioral scientist at Ghent University and the study’s lead author, was observing her own cats, Fabio and Giovanni, interacting over a favorite napping spot in the sun and noticed something.

“I saw these weird grooming patterns in my own cats where I thought, This is not super friendly at all,” she said. “Sometimes one cat would lay on the blanket near the window and the other cat would come up and start licking it — but in an annoying way.” The interaction would induce the licked cat to get up and forfeit the sunny spot, she said.

To check whether this behavior was more widespread, Ms. Van Belle and her colleagues looked at 53 households across Europe with two or more cats. After telling the pet owners what to look for, the researchers had them submit videos of their cats’ interactions. The scientists then randomly selected a submission from each participant and used statistical analyses to tease apart the hidden nuance in cat-licking behavior. 

I will note that I am a bit jealous.  The idea of making a career out of observing cats sounds like paradise to me.

^*The names are not my fault. I firmly believe that one does not name a cat, one discovers a cat's name.

True as Turnips is

True as taxes is, and nothing is truer than them.

Using Shakespeare to Demonstrate Quantum Superposition

This is both simultaneously a cat and a ham.

Could a physicist please tell me when the wave function collapses here?  

It's AI Slop, but It's Funny AI Slop

Also kind of true

There is a genre of AI slop on YouTube, a SCF-FI genre you could call human exceptionalism.

Basically, it consists of a spoken word YouTube video in which aliens encounter Earthers, and said humans blithely do something that confuses and terrifies the host of aliens present.

I generally do not have much use for such stuff, unless, of course, it involves humor and cats. 

At that point, I feel the need to share this with the rest of you. 

Have fun. 

This is Literally Peak Cat

Domestic cats, the European Tour!

The Chinese TourThere is an article in Science where it is claimed that the genetic evidence shows that domestic cats did not make it to Europe until about 0 CE, about 7,000 years later previously believed.

There is archeological evidence that domestic cats, Felis catus, made it to Cyprus around 7000 BCE, but they never made the jump to Europe. 

While are references to cats in Greek and Roman documents before the common era, this now appears to be commensalism (basically hanging out) by local wild cat populations because of the large number of rodents and other prey animals near ancient granaries rather than domestication.

It appears that something very similar occurred in China, albeit at a later time. 

Around 730 CE, F. catus made it to China via the Silk Road. 

Before that, the Leopard Cat, Prionailurus bengalensis, hung out with the locals in the Far East as far back as 4000 BCE, as evidenced by archeological finds.

If you look closely, you will note that there is a 600 year gap, from about 150 CE to 730 CE where neither cat is present in the record:

………

Interestingly, the disappearance of leopard cats coincides with the turbulent era following the Han Dynasty’s collapse and preceding the Tang Dynasty’s rise. This period experienced colder, drier conditions, declining agricultural yields, social unrest, and a population contraction lasting 400 years. These factors likely disrupted the human niche that had supported leopard cats. A parallel can be seen in Europe, where black rat populations declined with the fall of the Roman Empire only to re-emerge with economic recovery. In both cases, the decline of major civilizations may have led to the disappearance of commensal animals dependent on human-driven ecosystems.

Six centuries after the disappearance of small felids, domestic cat remains began to appear in China and at another Silk Road trade hub in Central Asia.  The arrival of domestic cats may have hindered the re-establishment of leopard cats in human settlements, as both species occupy similar ecological niches. Additionally, the rise of poultry farming in ancient China after the Han Dynasty may have contributed to human-leopard cat conflict, given their tendency to prey on chickens, further preventing the return of leopard cats to anthropogenic environments.

The short version of this is:

• Human society develops agriculture in China.
• Large granaries lead to rodent heavy spaces, and P. bengalensis decides to hang out at the all you can eat rodent buffet.
• Social unrest in China leads to famine and population falling.
• Cats realize that the aforementioned buffet is over, and what's more the big dumb apes get upset when they eat the yummy birds.
• Cats decide, "Fuck this shit, I'm out of here."

That last bit is totally peak cat. 

What Do Cats and Women Have in Common?

The belief that men do not listen to them.  (No, this is not a run up to a crude pun)

It turns out that cats meow more and louder when trying to get the attention of men than when trying to get the attention of women.

I'm not particularly surprised.

As he lectured on animal behavior, Kaan Kerman, an instructor in the psychology department at Bilkent University in Turkey, noticed a pattern. Dog owners tend to confidently interpret their pets’ behavior, he said, “but cat owners are always puzzled.” Compared with dogs, cats have been studied less, partly because they prefer to stay at home.

“If you want to bring cats into the lab,” Dr. Kerman said, “good luck.”

When he and his colleagues asked cat owners for permission to film inside their homes, the response was enthusiastic. “As long as you give us some answers about our cats,” was a common reply. What that study found may not be as welcome among men who care for cats.

In a study published this month in the journal Ethology, the researchers reported that cats meow more frequently when greeting male caregivers. The team hypothesized that men “require more explicit vocalizations to notice and respond to the needs of their cats.” In other words, the researchers are suggesting that many cats have concluded that men don’t always listen, and adjusted their behavior accordingly.

I am sure that many women who have read this story have thought, "No shit, Sherlock." 

 

Ecch (Tweet) of the Day

I'm thinking I may have some orthopedic issues.

I'm going to cuddle the sh%$ out of my cats. 

Scientific research has confirmed that the vibrations produced by a cat’s purr, ranging between 25 and 150 Hertz, can accelerate bone healing and improve tissue repair.

Cats purr naturally during rest, stress, or pain, and these frequencies stimulate bone density and promote… pic.twitter.com/Ac6aQdmxV3

— Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) December 3, 2025

We Have Achieved Cat!!!!!

We Have Achieved Cat!

This is not a new cat, Meatball (aka Mousetrap) was a LOST cat.

Somehow our totally indoor 15 year old cat she got out yesterday, which we did not know, so we were turning both  our house and the contents of our sheds inside out in an attempt to find her.

As I was walking back to the house this evening, I looked into the little shelter (see below) I made for the pack (clowder?) of feral cats in our neighborhood, and low and behold, I saw some very familiar yellow eyes peering back at me.

It's simple, basically 3 pieces of plywood sitting under the house overhang, but for a feral cat on a winter night, it's better than hanging out in a storm drain. (Yeah, they do that)

Apart from some cobwebs on the ears and a ferocious appetite, she's fine.

So her adventure has a happy ending.

I Do Not Recall South Park Being This Good During the Clinton Impeachment

I don't watch South Park often, my wife objects strongly, and many of her knives are quite dull, but I did catch a few episodes when it first came out.

I do not recall Parker and Stone doing anything at all about the Clinton impeachment, even though that centered around a blow job. 

It seemed to me to be a news event well suited to their talents.

Almost as well suited as Kristi Noem's shooting of her family's puppy: 

@couriernewsroom

South Park shows Kristi Noem killing multiple dogs in their most recent episode. Noem’s face also appears to start drooping, which is only fixed with layers of makeup.

♬ original sound - COURIER

@southparklover00

South Park season 27 episode 2 end credits

♬ original sound - Cartman’s#1fan

Sweet!

It Was as True as Turnips Is. It Was as True as Taxes Is. And Nothing’s Truer than Them.

Having acquired my first set of cats as an adult after finding one under the hood of my car, after driving 2 miles, (!) I agree.

I also had a cat fall on me through a suspended ceiling.  She was feral, and peed on me and jumped out of my arms. 

Ecch (Tweet) of the Day

internet vs real life pic.twitter.com/XUqFrplcLw

— non aesthetic things (@PicturesFoIder) May 6, 2025

This is true, as true as turnips is, as true as taxes is, and nothing is true than them.

Keep Your Cats Indoors

Do you know what outdoor cats do?  They chase birds. 

Do you know what birds do? They carry bird flu.  (Kinda obvious)

Cats are even more susceptible to bird flu than people are, and cats can transmit the virus to people.

Of course, the Trump run CDC promptly removed the report, but someone got to it before they did that.

Once again, Trump is using secrecy as an alternative to public health:

Cats that became infected with bird flu might have spread the virus to humans in the same household and vice versa, according to data that briefly appeared online in a report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention but then abruptly vanished. The data appear to have been mistakenly posted but includes crucial information about the risks of bird flu to people and pets.

In one household, an infected cat might have spread the virus to another cat and to a human adolescent, according to a copy of the data table obtained by The New York Times. The cat died four days after symptoms began. In a second household, an infected dairy farmworker appears to have been the first to show symptoms, and a cat then became ill two days later and died on the third day.

The table was the lone mention of bird flu in a scientific report published on Wednesday that was otherwise devoted to air quality and the Los Angeles County wildfires. The table was not present in an embargoed copy of the paper shared with news media on Tuesday, and is not included in the versions currently available online. The table appeared briefly at around 1 p.m., when the paper was first posted, but it is unclear how or why the error might have occurred.

The virus, called H5N1, is primarily adapted to birds, but it has been circulating in dairy cattle since early last year. H5N1 has also infected at least 67 Americans but does not yet have the ability to spread readily among people. Only one American, in Louisiana, has died of an H5N1 infection so far.

"Only one American, in Louisiana, has died of an H5N1 infection so far," THAT WE KNOW OF.

Given the paucity of information from the CDC, there may be more.

Also, most of the cases have occurred via transmission through the eyes, largely among dairy workers, which is far milder than the typical transmission via the lungs.

We are f%$#ed.

There's an App for What

Our Littermaid™ automatic cat box is in the process of giving up the proverbial ghost, and I am looking for a replacement.

It appears that Littermaid™ is no longer made, so I am looking for alternatives, and reading reviews, and the reviews spend about half their time discussing the utility of the apps included.

Wait ……… They want me to monitor how and when my cats piss and sh%$?

And some of them want to collect this data for themselves?

And the reviewers think that we give a f%$# about this?

Ecch (Tweet) of the Day

pic.twitter.com/glSwzoXCJR

— WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme) October 21, 2024

This is indeed true, unless, of course, they can see the bottom of their bowl.

Just Got Back from Montgomery County

My son is finally out of his old apartment.

I hate moving.

15 miles down the road, and still a major pain in the ass.  Their dog is happy though, he has a back yard now.

I Is Confuzzled

And which one sheds more?OK, so you see my two cats, Meatball (also called Mousetrap) on the left, and Destructo on the right.

On their names, I will note that I am a firm believer in the idea that one does not name a cat, one discovers the name of the cat.

Meatball, our lovely girl void, is 7-8 pounds, and Destructo is our handsome 16-17 pounds fluffy male, and he was the runt of the litter. (Some Maine Coon in him, I think)

Despite this, Meatball is the alpha-cat, to the degree that alpha-cats are possible.

Here is the thing, under the square cube law, Destructo has about 25% more surface area, and MUCH longer hair, so he is likely carrying at least twice the weight of fur in him.

Here is what has got me going ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, Meatball sheds more than Destructo, a lot more, on the order of 4-5 times the fur left on the bed. (You can tell by the color)

How can happen?

The only thing that can explain this is that Meatball is somehow shedding out of spite, but that seems unlikely.

This Is the Hill You Die On?

After f$#@ing around on her husband, coercing state regulators to give her unqualified daughter an appraisers licence, and bid rigging, what finally has 'Phants criticizing Governor crazy eyes is her account of shooting a family dog.

She is a narcissistic psychopath. Killing animals, there is a goat involved in the story as well, comes with the territory.

So does bragging about it in her memoire, as she did.  

It appears that she thinks that this makes her look tough, or something.

The bigger issue here is how the cruelty is the point, and this ain't just limited to Governor puppy killer.

Posted via mobile.

Ecch (Tweet) of the Day

His little jacket at the end 😭 pic.twitter.com/b0pZLOqHi8

— Why you should have a cat (@ShouldHaveCat) February 7, 2024

Just so you know, as cute as this appears, that cat will have their revenge. 

It might be his shoes, or it might be his headphones, or it might be his laptop, but he will find cat sh%$ or puke in them soon. 

Do not dress up a cat in a helmet and a leather jacket, ever.

Ecch (Tweet) of the Day

You mean this: pic.twitter.com/RlcMVSriUq

— Sonia Focke🏳️‍🌈 (@soniafocke) January 17, 2024

Yes, this is a good description of the differences between various fur babies. 

Seeing as how an Ecch embed does not show the whole picture, here it is.

This is truer than taxes:

Behold the Power of Cats

The Kansas City VA system had a 4 hour computer outage because of keyboard cat.

Apparently, a tech was looking at server configuration when his cat jumped on the keyboard deleting the server keyboard configuration.

A four-hour system interruption in September at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Kansas City, Missouri has been attributed to a cat jumping on a technician's keyboard.

So we're told by a source, who heard the tale on one of the regular weekday calls held by the US government department with its CIO, during which recent IT problems are reviewed. We understand that roughly 100 people – contractors, vendors, and employees – participate in these calls at a time.

On a mid-September call, one of the participants explained that while a technician was reviewing the configuration of a server cluster, their cat jumped on the keyboard and deleted it. Or at least that's their story.

Kurt DelBene, assistant secretary for information and technology and CIO at the Department of Veterans Affairs, is said to have responded on the call with words to the effect that: "This is why I have a dog." There was laughter and not much more – it was a short incident report.

This is not an unheard of problem. Anecdotes of feline data vandalism abound in various online forums. This reporter has personal experience with typos introduced by an orange tabby conducting a keyboard crossing to reach a sunny spot by the window, and one of El Reg's editors has suffered similar issues.

You know, I'd put this down to random chance, but this happens way too frequently to be happenstance.

There is a massive conspiracy out there, and I don't know what it is, and I do not know what their goals are, but I do know that, much like the fog, it comes on little cat feet.