Skeet of the Day

One of our supporters shared this with us—people are getting creative tonight!

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— Alt National Park Service (@altnps.bsky.social) February 13, 2025 at 11:25 PM

I believe that this is actual irony

I'm sick of living in a motherf%$#ing dystopia, and it has only been just over 3 weeks.

(Update)

It appears that after making this public service announcement, Smokey the bear completely lost his sh%$, pulling out a shot gun and killing the FTD guy while he was making Valentines Day deliveries.

He was dragged off stage by US Park Service Personnel screaming, "Only You Can Prevent Florist Flyers!!!"

So very sad.

Grimmest Thing Ever in The Onion

Like most of the things in The Onion, this is funny in no small part because it is true.

This article, titled, "No Matter How Many Chili Cook-Offs I Win, Everyone Still Sees Me As ‘That School Shooter’s Mom’," is incredibly dark humor.

This humor is so dark that Derek Chauvin would suffocate it to death.

This humor is so dark that Michael Slager would have shot it in the back.

This humor is so dark that ……… Well, you get the point.

Headline of the Day

Florida School Board Bans Book about Book Bans

—The Tallahassee Democrat about the Indian River County School Board having their heads so far up their ass that they are Klein Bottles

So, they ban books, and then they ban books that discuss banning books, because that might lead to reading banned books, then they will ban book about books about banning books ………

Rinse, lather, repeat, and eventually all we are left with is video of George W. reading My Pet Goat.*

I find it hard to imagine that this could get any more absurd, but I put that down to my lack of imagination.  I am sure it will become even more absurd.

Florida, man! 

School officials here have banned a book about book banning.

The School Board last month voted to remove "Ban This Book" by Alan Gratz from its shelves, overruling its own district book-review committee's decision to keep it.

The children's novel follows a fictional fourth grader who creates a secret banned books locker library after her school board pulled a multitude of titles off the shelves.

School Board members said they disliked how it referenced other books that had been removed from schools and accused it of "teaching rebellion of school board authority," as described in the formal motion to oust it.

The book, which had been in two Indian River County elementary schools and a middle school, was challenged by Jennifer Pippin, president of the local chapter of Moms for Liberty, a national conservative group that has become one of the loudest advocates for removing books they deem inappropriate.

President a local chapter of Moms for Liberty? Who is she and her husband having a menage a trois with?

The book has also been challenged at least one other time in Florida, in Clay County, but school officials there decided to keep it in circulation.

Gratz, its author, called the Indian River County decision "incredibly ironic."

I would call it profoundly absurd, to the degree that I would expect the school board members to turn into rhinoceroses.  (The rhinoceros is actually an allegory for fascism in the play of that name, so in a very real way, they already have turned into rhinoceroses.) 

Can we please give Florida back to Spain?

^*Yes, I know that the book that Bush was reading as the planes hit the towers was actually, The Pet Goat, but we are talking about the meme here, baby.

Tweet of the Day

pic.twitter.com/Oq09HsiCXf

— PirateWenchArt (@PirateWenchArt) January 13, 2024

Just so you know, when Bill O'Reilly is complaining that the Florida book censorship law is banning his book, the response, It's called Karma, and it is pronounced, "Haha, fuck you," is an appropriote response, and almost 100% pitch perfect.

To be 100% pitch perfect, the word, "Bitch," would need to be added after the word, "Karma."

Headline of the Day

When Microsoft says that you're a monopolist things are bad

—The Register

Yea, this level of irony does bugger the mind.

Embrace and extend, boys, embrace and extend.

Today in Irony

Anna “Delvey” Sorokin Announces She Will “Move Away from the ‘Scammer Persona’” and Launch NFTs

—Web 3 is Going Just Great

So a woman who engaged in a massive fraud of the New York glitterati is moving to NFTs.

Anna Sorokin, the scammer who convinced people and companies to give her hundreds of thousands of dollars by pretending to be a German heiress, has decided to get into NFTs. After winding up with a "scammer persona", which she says is a result of the Netflix series about her and not a result of the scams that landed her in prison, she has announced her intentions to "move away from" it. Now she is focusing on an NFT collection, which she announced in an interview from a detention facility in New York. 

So she is moving from scamming to NFTs?

This definition of self improvement that I was previously aware of. 

Who says that irony is dead?

America's Finest News Source

The Onion, of course:

Left-Wing Group Too Disorganized For FBI Agents To Infiltrate

Admitting that they had been working for several years without any discernible success, FBI agents confirmed Wednesday that a local left-wing political group was too disorganized to infiltrate. ……… “These people are incredibly disorganized. We try to attend their meetings to get them to unwittingly work on our behalf, but half the time no one shows up but the undercover agents, and the other half of the time the meetings are so confusing it’s impossible to follow what they’re actually trying to do. We also tried to sow division in their ranks to ensure that they couldn’t become powerful, but that didn’t work because these people already all f%$#ing hate each other. They spend all their time arguing about minutiae, and most of the time when we try to talk them into doing something violent to the communal spaces in their community, they don’t even know where to go. They’re just a mess.”

This is funny because it's true.

This is sad because it's true.

America's Finest News Source

The Onion has published an article, "In Defense Of Mass Censorship," and it is brutal and witty, and better than anything that has come off of their keyboard for years:

When The Onion’s editorial board convened to discuss the tumultuous events of the previous month, one conclusion became evident: The world stands at a crossroads. Two visions of our collective future stand before us: On one side is a free and enlightened society, dedicated to the principles of openness, tolerance, and debate; the other is built upon ignorance, fear, and the suppression of dissent. Today, the path forward could not be clearer.

Simply put, we need mass censorship now.

Our country was founded upon the admirable principles of a moneyed elite spoon-feeding its beliefs to the ignorant and unwashed masses, and yet today that legacy stands in tatters. For too long, our nation has tolerated the mewling and rambling of the confused public. For too long, we have watched the God-given right to suppress free speech slip away. That’s why The Onion now stands united in calling on all governments, domestic and foreign, to immediately muzzle protesters, dissidents, and citizens of all stripes who take part in the blighted pestilence on human affairs known as freedom of expression.

Read the whole thing, it is a masterpiece.

I Can't Even

Ted Cruz, who fled Texas for Cancun during the winter weather caused blackouts there, is now saying that Democrats are worthless and weak while observing that, "In a time of crisis, character is revealed."

The level of toxic unawareness shown here is mind boggling.

Florida Woman Gets Face Eaten by Leopard

'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

— Adrian Bott (@Cavalorn) October 16, 2015

Yeah, pretty much

Anti-Muslim Republican congressional candidate Laura Loomer says she is sick with the coronavirus. Notably, the outspoken far-right anti-Covid vaccine voice now says, “I am in so much pain.”

— Zachary Petrizzo (@ZTPetrizzo) September 17, 2021

It appears that the the Japanese saying, "ない愚かさはない薬です" is wrong, Covid is the medicine for stupidity

This tweet is from last December. @LauraLoomer now has COVID-19. pic.twitter.com/ERmviDvk9G

— terese hutchinson (@Im_terese_hutch) September 17, 2021

Free burritos for everyone

Right wing islamophobe, anti-vaccine activist, and person most deserving of bad Karma Laura Loomer has a particularly nasty case of Covid-19.

It appears that her previous statements about a bad burrito being worse than Covid are now inoperative:

The far-right, anti-Muslim, anti-vaccine conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer says she’s tested positive for the coronavirus, after suffering from severe symptoms that she wrote left her feeling like she “got hit by a bus.”

In a post on the Trumpist social network Gettr, Loomer complained that she started suffering from “fever, chills, a runny nose, sore throat, nausea and severe body aches” on Wednesday that she said felt like “a bad case of the flu... So I took a COVID test and it came back POSITIVE.”

She added: “I have not taken the COVID-19 vaccine, and I don’t plan on ever taking it because it is unsafe and ineffective. Today, I immediately started a treatment of Azithromyacin and Hydroxychloroquine. I’m also taking the OrthoMune dietary supplement.” She said she’s also received the Regeneron antibody treatment used by ex-President Donald Trump.

Last year, Loomer expressed a wish that she could catch COVID to show everyone that it was no big deal. She wrote on Parler in December 2020: “I hope I get COVID just so I can prove to people I’ve had bouts of food poisoning that are more serious and life threatening than a hyped up virus. Have you ever eaten bad fajitas? That will kill you faster than COVID.”

However, in follow-up messages on her Telegram channel late Thursday, she made it clear that she was suffering severe symptoms. “Just pray for me please,” she wrote. “Can’t even begin to explain how brutal the body aches and nausea that come with COVID are. I am in so much pain.”

I'm beginning to think that I should start referring to Covid-19 as "God's justice."

Maybe, there is something wrong with me, because I feel absolutely no sympathy at all.  (Thinks for a bit)  Nope.  This is legitimately funny.

Tweet of the Day

lmao they literally put a picture of their boss on this article. pic.twitter.com/7r1TV3Y19w

— Alan MacLeod (@AlanRMacLeod) September 2, 2021

The fact that the story about how we must be nice to billionaires is headlined by a picture of Jeff Bezos is delightfully ironic.  The only question is whether the editor who selected this headlinewas engaging in a little bit of subversion or if it was purely unintentional irony.

I Like This

In response to Texas Governor Greg Abbott's executive order banning mask mandates, the Paris Independent school district (PISD) has made the wearing of masks a part of its dress code, which is an area that is exclusively the purview of the school board, and not covered by Abbot's order:

A school district in Texas has announced an amendment to their dress code, reportedly requiring face masks for all members, ahead of the school’s reopening on Thursday.

An announcement issued on the website of the Paris Independent school district (PISD) on Tuesday pointed out Greg Abbott’s recent executive order doesn’t allow his office to “usurp the board of trustees’ executive power”.

The Texas governor’s executive order, issued last month, had said no governmental institution, including schools, could not require anyone to wear masks.

The small school district made the announcement on its website, citing its concerns for the health and safety of its students. The city of Paris, with a population of about 25,000, currently has almost 3,000 confirmed Covid-19 cases.

“The board [of trustees] believes the dress code can be used to mitigate communicable health issues, and therefore has amended the PISD dress code to protect our students and employees,” read a part of the statement.

The announcement further cited a Texas education code chapter that they said would not allow the governor to interfere with this mandate. According to chapter 11 of the code, the trustees of a school district have the ultimate say in the management and supervision of activities of the schools in their district, and the announcement noted that the governor’s executive order did not explicitly suspend chapter 11.

This is a nice bit of, "Gruck Feg," by the the school board.

Today in Just Desserts

Texas Governor Greg "I ban mask mandates" Abbott just tested positive for Covid-19.

Given that this guy has done his level best to make the great stat of Texas a super-spreader event, I'm thinking that this development is almost poetic.

The icing on the cake is that as a paraplegic, Abbot is at high risk for negative outcomes for Coronavirus.

As Zathras would say, "At least there is summery."

A Most Fabulous Meme

We're Proud and we're Boys and Nazi cowards can fuck right the fuck off. #ProudBoys pic.twitter.com/pOTpcJe7WZ

— Sam J. Miller (@sentencebender) October 4, 2020

Here is me and my husband on our wedding day .... and a pic of our two adopted sons #ProudBoys pic.twitter.com/mloFIhcvwF

— Ants (@helloitsants) October 4, 2020

🇨🇦🏳️‍🌈 #ProudBoys pic.twitter.com/rEFL7xIqXu

— Canadian Forces in 🇺🇸 (@CAFinUS) October 4, 2020

Fabulous!!!

The right-wing terrorists gang known as the "Proud Boys" are being mercilessly memed by LGBTQ people all over the internet.

This is f%#$ing beautiful, and even an official Canadian military Twitter account joined in:

If you search for "Proud Boys" on Twitter, you won't get what you're expecting, and you will absolutely be delighted.

After Donald Trump's reference to the extremist group at the first presidential debate, people have taken over the #ProudBoys hashtag with photos of gay men celebrating their lives and their love.

The goal of the movement is to take back the hashtag from the Proud Boys, a far-right men's organization with a history of violence. Founded by Gavin McInnes, the group describes itself as "western chauvinists," and the FBI considers the group to be an extremist organization with ties to white supremacy.

When asked to condemn white supremacists during the first presidential debate, Trump told the Proud Boys to "stand back and stand by." The statement appears to have galvanized the group and bolstered their following.

Given the group's penchant for a certain brand of white masculinity, the move to use the tag with images of gay men is not just a reclamation, but a cheeky provocation.

The exact source of this meme is unclear, but it may have started with a George Takei tweet.

Oh, My!!!!!!

Deep Thought

I saw this on the Stellar Parthenon BBS, and I have no clue who came up with this, but this encapsulates this year.

This is a Vintage Month for Schadenfraude

The confederate general has fallen pic.twitter.com/vbrd7MrjE5

— Davante Lewis (@davantelewis) August 27, 2020

Epic

Calcasieu Parish refused to remove the Confederate "South's Defenders Monument" when activists demanded that the tribute to to slavery be taken down. Hurricane Laura did the job anyway:

As Hurricane Laura made landfall along the Gulf Coast early Thursday morning, it brought down a Confederate monument in southern Louisiana that community members pushed to remove earlier this summer. Despite requests from residents and support from a local mayor, the government in Calcasieu Parish, where the monument is located, voted to keep it in its place during a meeting held two weeks ago.

On Thursday morning, photos shared to social media showed the Confederate statue, known as the South's Defenders Monument, incurred significant damages overnight as a result of the hurricane.

"Lake Charles and Calcasieu Parish has been filled with controversy and tension after our parish government by a vote of 10–5 refused to take down the Confederate South's Defenders Monument," wrote Davante Lewis, director of public affairs at The Louisiana Budget Project, alongside pictures of the toppled structure.

………

In subsequent comments to Newsweek, Lewis noted that only a few Black members belong to the Calcasieu Parish Police Jury—similar to a board of commissioners—and said the governing body's vote to maintain the South's Defenders statue was divided along racial lines. Although Lewis himself is not currently a resident of Calcasieu Parish, his family lives there and father Eddie Lewis is a representative on the Police Jury.

I am amused.

The Irony is Delicious

As a result of US sanctions, Huawei has been locked out of Google's play store.

For most phone manufacturers, this would be something near to a death blow, but since Huawei is large enough to set up a rather competent app marketplace of its own, as well as being able to create its competent equivalents of Google's services.

This has the effect of creating a parallel ecosystem for the Android operating system, which means that, because the OS is open source, Google is at risk of losing much of its control over Android, including its ability to spy on millions (billions?) of users.

So, Google has gone to the Trump administration hat in hand to roll back the sanctions and bring Huawei back into the fold:

As Huawei takes the initiative to create its own homegrown alternative to the Play Store, Google has reportedly pleaded with the White House to offer it an exemption to again work with the Chinese tech giant.

Huawei's inclusion on the Trump administration's Entity List has had dramatic consequences for the company's handset business, preventing it from using Google Mobile Services (GMS) on its latest phones and tablets.

According to German wire service Deutsche Press Agentur, Android and Google Play veep Sameer Samat has confirmed that Google has applied for a licence to resume working with Huawei.

………

Huawei has said that if Google got an exemption, it would promptly update its newest phones to use Google Mobile Services.

………
That said, Huawei's strategy has focused on hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. These preparations have seen the firm invest over $1bn on its app ecosystem, with more than 3,000 engineers working on the AppGallery, according to a statement from the company released earlier this week.

It has also made deals with Western app developers and content providers, most notably Sunday Times publisher News UK, to make its services appear less barren.

………

Huawei has also introduced the ability to download progressive web apps, dubbed "Quick Apps" by the firm, through the AppGallery, which should bump up the app availability numbers – even if they lack the sophistication of a dedicated native app.

It's likely this that has motivated Google to take the initiative. Although losing Huawei as a customer is a significant financial body blow to Mountain View, given its enduring popularity in Europe and Asia, it would pale compared to the damage caused by a new product that starts to loosen its stranglehold on the Android sphere.

Google Mobile Services can cost as much as $40 per device, and it's likely that many phone vendors, particularly on the cheaper end of the spectrum, would welcome a less-expensive alternative.

Complicating matters for Google, the biggest Chinese phone manufacturers (Oppo, Xiaomi and Huawei) have teamed up to simplify the process of deploying apps to their in-house stores.

With Google claiming a cool 30 per cent on all Play Store sales, this represents a huge threat to its bottom line.

I'm kind of hoping that the request for a waiver is denied, because anything that hurts Google is good for the rest of us.

History is Rhyming Again

German Jews have been warned by the commissioner on antisemitism not to wear yarmulkes in public:

Germany’s government commissioner on antisemitism has warned Jews about the potential dangers of wearing the traditional kippah cap in the face of rising anti-Jewish attacks.

“I cannot advise Jews to wear the kippah everywhere all the time in Germany,” Felix Klein said in an interview published Saturday by the Funke regional press group.

In issuing the warning, he said he had “alas, changed my mind (on the subject) compared to previously”.

Klein, whose post was created last year, cited “the lifting of inhibitions and the uncouthness which is on the rise in society” as factors behind a rising incidence of antisemitism.

“The internet and social media have largely contributed to this, but so have constant attacks against our culture of remembrance.”

And he suggested police, teachers and lawyers should be better trained to recognise what constitutes “clearly defined” unacceptable behaviour and “what is authorised and what is not”.

His comments came just weeks after Berlin’s top legal expert on antisemitism said the issue remains entrenched in German society.

………

Antisemitic crimes rose by 20% in Germany last year, according to interior ministry data which blamed nine out of ten cases on the extreme right.

Humanity, in all its splendor, huh?

I Suppose That This Was Inevitable

Now that Tumblr has imploded after banning sexually explicit content, Pornhub has expressed an interest in acquiring the smouldering remains:

Pornhub Vice President Corey Price said in an email to BuzzFeed News that the porn-streaming giant is extremely interested in buying Tumblr, the once uniquely horny hub for young women and queer people that banned adult content last December to the disappointment of many of its users.

Price said that restoring Tumblr's NSFW edge would be central to their acquisition of it, were it to actually happen.

Tumblr owner Verizon is reportedly currently seeking a buyer for the blogging platform, which according to the Wall Street Journal has struggled to meet revenue targets."Tumblr was a safe haven for those who wanted to explore and express their sexuality, adult entertainment aficionados included," Price told BuzzFeed News. "We’ve long been dismayed that such measures were taken to eradicate erotic communities on the platform, leaving many individuals without an asylum through which they could comfortably peruse adult content."

This development is profoundly ironic.

Irony Much?

In response to aggressive Chinese actions in the Pacific and Indian oceans, Vice Presidence announces, completly unaware of the irony, that, "Empire and aggression have no place in Indo-Pacific."

Seriously?  There has been nothing but since the East India Company became the furst trans-national firm:

U.S. Vice President Mike Pence told leaders of Southeast Asian nations on Thursday that there was no place for “empire and aggression” in the Indo-Pacific region, a comment that could be interpreted as a reference to China’s rise.

………

The prime minister of Singapore later said that Southeast Asian countries did not want to take sides when pulled in different directions by major powers, but that one day it may have to.

Leaders at the ASEAN meetings this week heard warnings that the post-World War Two international order was in jeopardy and trade tensions between Washington and Beijing could trigger a “domino effect” of protectionist measures by other countries.

“Like you, we seek an Indo-Pacific in which all nations, large and small, can prosper and thrive – secure in our sovereignty, confident in our values, and growing stronger together,” Pence said. “We all agree that empire and aggression have no place in the Indo-Pacific.”

Shameless.

As Yves Smith says, "Not the Onion"