Charles "Doofenschmirtz" Saroff Will Take Over the Entire Tri-State Area!

We know what he says it is, a lab project for Electronics & Instrumentation II (Mechatronics), but we all know what this REALLY is. 

It's his evil plan to take over the entire Tri-State Area.

Behold the Metronominator !!! 

Yes, I'm bragging about my kid, dads gotta dad. 

In any case, here is his vid:

 

Kids these days with their Arduinos and their 3D printing.

In my day, we had to machine everything with flint tools!

I Hurt All Over

I rented a tiller, and turned over the dirt for Sharon's* herb garden. 

My hands have finally stopped feeling numb. 

^*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.

Great Split Pea Soup, Lousy Toothpick Dispensers

If you have taken California's coastal highway, and not had some of Pea Soup Andersen's split pea soup, you are a fool.

It's excellent soup.

That being said, be careful with the toothpicks.  I have been ribbed about this for over 4 decades. 

In any case, here is the recipe.  It's vegetarian, but you can order it with ham.

If you wanted to keep kosher, you could add pastrami.

Andersen's Split Pea Soup

Vintage recipe for Andersen's Split Pea Soup from Andersen's Restaurant in Buellton, California. Family recipe. Vegan, Gluten Free.

Prep Time15 minutes mins

Cook Time45 minutes mins

Total Time1 hour hr

Course: Soup

Cuisine: American

Keyword: soup recipe

Kosher Key: Parve

Servings: 6 servings

Calories: 236kcal

Ingredients

• 2 cups green split peas
• 1 rib celery, coarsely chopped (single piece from a stalk)
• 1 large carrot, peeled and coarsely chopped
• 1 small onion, peeled and chopped
• 1/4 teaspoon thyme
• 1 bay leaf, crumbled into very small pieces
• Pinch cayenne pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt
• Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

• Sort the peas in a mesh strainer, removing any stones or impurities. Rinse them clean.
• Combine the peas, celery, carrot, onion, thyme, bay leaf and cayenne in a soup pot and cover with 2 quarts (8 cups) of water.
• Bring the pot to a boil. Keep at a high simmer for 20 minutes.
• Reduce heat to a low simmer. Let the mixture cook for another 25-30 minutes till the peas are completely tender. Towards the end of cooking, add the seasoned salt, then add salt and pepper to taste. I use about 1/2 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp of pepper. Use less if you're sodium-sensitive.
• Process the pea mixture through a food mill or a fine mesh sieve. A food mill will create the smoothest, creamiest texture.
• Process the pea mixture until all of the liquid is pushed through, and only pulp remains.
• A creamy soup will result.
• Bring the soup to a quick boil once more on the stovetop, then remove from heat immediately. If the soup seems too thick, add some hot water to thin it out to the desired consistency.
• Serve hot. I like to garnish the soup with a few breadcrumbs. Omit them to keep the soup gluten free and vegan. Keep leftover soup in a sealed tupperware. When the soup is chilled, it will solidify. Adding a little water and stirring as you reheat will help the soup to heat up more smoothly.

Notes

You will also need: Soup pot. mesh strainer, food mill

Nutrition

Calories: 236kcal | Carbohydrates: 42g | Protein: 16g | Sodium: 216mg | Potassium: 720mg | Fiber: 17g | Sugar: 6g | Vitamin A: 1825IU | Vitamin C: 3.4mg | Calcium: 46mg | Iron: 3mg

 

I Am Now Officially Unemployed

Bummer.

No Posting Tonight

Job interview tomorrow.

Also, taxes. 

Some Times, the Economy Lands on You

 As an FYI, my position at Bascom Hunter is ending this Friday, April 17.

My conversion from contract to direct was dashed on the rocks of corporate reorganization. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

What can you do? 

Pizza Tastes So Good When Pesach Ends

 There is a reason that matzoh is called, "Bread of Affliction."

Running Around Like a Chicken With My Head Cut Off

Cleaning for Passover.

First Seder is tomorrow. 

A Jewish Joke

Many years ago, a Jew was the most trusted minister to a king.

The king said, "Moishe, I would like to make you my prime minister, but the people would not stand for me appointing a Jew, please convert."

Moishe agrees, and converts to Christianity, and becomes prime minister.

After a few months, he cannot deal with this any more, and with much trepidation, he goes to the king and says, "My king, I am a Jew, and I cannot be otherwise.  Please forgive me, but I must resign from my position and return to the practices of Judaism."

The king understands, and is not angry, and accepts Moishe's decision.

He then goes home to his wife, and says Shoshana, I am no longer prime minister.  I have to be a Jew.

Shoshana smacks him on the head, and says, "Moishe, why couldn't you wait until AFTER Passover?"

My gentile reader(s) may not get this, but all of my Jewish readers do.

I've been thinking about this joke for the past week or so as our hoshold frantically cleans for Pesach. 

 

No Posting Tonight

 Funerals are exhausting.

On the Way to Manhattan

Stopped at Waffle House (breakfast for dinner) and blogging. 

I love going to New York, but not for a funeral.

Light Posting for a While

 Heading to New York tomorrow afternoon for the funeral of my Wife's uncle, who died today.

I'll Take 8 Inches

No, not that.

I'm referring to the snowfall, which was about 8 inches in my area over the weekend.

Given that the predictions were for as much as 16 inches. I'd say that we dodged a bullet. 

Love working from home right now. 

How Do You Make Coffee When You Need Coffee?

This morning, I made myself some coffee.

I really needed it, which meant that I was measuring beans, grinding beans, and pouring water from an electric kettle over it while impaired.

Yes, with coffee, it the lack of your addictive substance impairs you.

I made it a little bit strong.

I think that it straightened my pubic hair. 

Hippo Gnu Yarr

All indications are that2026 will be worse than 2025.

Of course, "Say fuck January will continue until January 31st, though I am tempted to continue through January 335th. 

So my reader(s) should expect a bit of swearing for the next months, in addition to my early start. 

Hippo	Gnu	Yarrr!!!!

I hope for the best for you and yours, but recent evidence indicates that this is unlikely. 

The Joys of a Cleaver

A few years back, I got a cheap meat cleaver at Target.

I really like it.

I use it a lot, not just for things like breaking up a turkey carcass.

Just tonight, I chopped up come cabbage with it, it was an amazing goodatthat, and then hand washed it immediately.

It has a lot more uses that I had originally thought, even if one does not consider it's obvious application, threatening people who intrude in my kitchen.

FWIW, I have never threatened anyone with my cleaver, though I have joked about the possibility. 

It Ain't Proust and Madeleine, ⃰ But It's Comfortable

I am eating a snack that I have not had in decades, peanut butter and Rice Chex.  (More specifically the Wegmans brand version of the cereal.)

It brought back memories of my mom, and when we would snack together on this at our kitchen table in Charlottesville, Virginia.

My mom died way too young. 

^*Marcel Proust, Rememberance of Things Past. He has the cookie as an adult, and it brought back memories of his time with his doeager unt as a child.

Well, This Sucks

So, I was picking up my kid from rehearsal, headed north on i-83, minding my own business, driving the speed limit, when someone in an SUV driving like a bat out of hell sideswiped my car.

Oh yeah minor damage to the car, the driver side front wheel is crashed, but Nat and I are okay, if a bit shaky.

The car is definitely not total, but the driver side front wheel got kind of mangled, So it's not drivable at this moment.

My car has been towed and my wife has picked me up and I'm headed home.

Still Sober

I just didn't feel like drinking this Simchat Torah.

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's שִׂמְחַת תּוֹרָה‎ (Simchat Torah)

It is safe to assume that any subsequent blog posts tonight will be made by while I am intoxicated.