20 October 2014

The Universal Nature of Humanity*

I can think of nothing that unites us more than the fact that even the Dalai Lama is pissed off about telemarketers:
Tibet’s spiritual leader has delivered an extraordinary rant about the things that do his head in.

The Dalai Lama’s rare display of belligerent human frailty occurred in London, during an acceptance speech for the Templeton Prize for ‘affirming life’s spiritual dimension’.

He said: “I am not a special person. I spend my days mostly in quiet contemplation.

“It is during these moments, when I am tantalisingly close to nirvana, that the phone always rings.

“‘Hello,’ says the voice on the line, ‘can I speak to Mr D Lama?’

“‘He’s not in,’ I always reply, because it is fine to lie in these situations, ‘and if he was he wouldn’t be interested.’

“Then they go, ‘surely he’d be interested on saving 25% on his monthly heating bills with double glazing’. For Zen’s sake!
Now, everyone link hands, and start singing, All we are saying, is telemarketers suck.

*Yes. I know. It's a parody site, and this is fake news, but it really should be real.  After all, who amongst us does not hate phone sales calls?


Cthulhu said...

I occasionally favored an air horn for the persistent ones, for which I was chastised. "These are people just trying to make a living", people would admonish me.

I disagree. Anyone with even a tiny, shriveled soul would rebel at being a telemarketer. Prostituting oneself on a street corner carries more honor than this job. Shoveling shit you'd still smell better at the end of the work day.

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