Time for Thoughts and Prayers, Again, and Again, and Again, and Again

We had a mass shooting at the Capital Gazette in Annipolis:

A lone gunman blasted his way into the Capital Gazette newsroom in Annapolis with a shotgun Thursday, killing five people dead and injuring two others, authorities said.

Journalists dove under their desks and pleaded for help on social media. One reporter described the scene a “war zone.” A photographer said he jumped over a dead colleague and fled for his life.

The victims were identified as Rob Hiaasen, 59, a former feature writer for The Baltimore Sun who joined the Capital Gazette in 2010 as assistant editor and columnist; Wendi Winters, 65, a community correspondent who headed special publications; Gerald Fischman, 61, the editorial page editor; John McNamara, 56, a staff writer who covered high school, college and professional sports for decades; and Rebecca Smith, 34, a sales assistant hired in November.

Police took a suspect into custody soon after the shootings. He was identified as Jarrod W. Ramos, a 38-year-old Laurel man with a longstanding grudge against the paper.

“This was a targeted attack on the Capital Gazette,” said Anne Arundel County Deputy Police Chief William Krampf. “This person was prepared today to come in. He was prepared to shoot people.”

Ramos has been in a dispute with the paper since 2011, so this is not related to the incitements of inverted traffic cone Donald Trump, Elvis impersonator wannabee Milo Yiannopoulos, or the rest of their ilk.

It was just an asshole with a gun.

Maybe the problem is the guns.

Elvis (Impersonator) Has Left the Building

It's now official. Paul Kevin Curtis, the Elvis impersonator originally accused of being the Mississippi ricin mailer, has been exonerated, and Wayne Newton impersonator James Everett Dutschke has been indicted:

A federal grand jury has indicted a Mississippi man suspected of sending poison-laced letters to President Barack Obama and other officials, according to an indictment made public Monday.

The 5-count indictment charges 41-year-old James Everett Dutschke (pronounced DUHS’-kee) with developing, producing and stockpiling the poison ricin, threatening the president and others and attempting to impede the investigation.

………

George Lucas, an attorney for Dutschke, said he had not yet seen the indictment and had no immediate comment.

Dutschke is the second person to face charges in the case.

Paul Kevin Curtis, a 45-year-old Elvis impersonator, was arrested on April 17, but the charges were dropped six days later.

So yes, the Wayne Newton impersonator attempted to frame the Elvis impersonator, and he got caught, and now his lawyer, George F%$#ing Lucas is waiting for the details.

This is beyond the wildest dreams of the writers for The Daily Show or The Onion.

Background here.

Jon Stewart Has a Comedygasm

Jon Stewart was positively ecstatic last night about the whole ricin mailer thing (see video).

You remember, how Paul Kevin Curtis, the Elvis impersonator, was framed for mailing poisoned letters to President Obama and Senator Wiker? Well they have now fingered an enemy of his, Everett Dutschke, for the deed, and he is a Wayne Newton impersonator.

Remember what the Chinese say about living in interesting times?

Well, for Jon Stewart, this makes his job pretty easy.

This is Not the Onion

You know that guy who is alleged to have mailed ricin laced letters to Obama and Congresscritters?

Wanna guess what his day job is?

He was an Elvis impersonator:

An Elvis impersonator named Paul Kevin Curtis who lives in Corinth Mississippi was charged Thursday for allegedly sending ricin-tainted letters to President Barack Obama, Sen. Roger Wiker (R-MS), and a judge in Lee County Mississippi. Court documents released by the Department of Justice show Curtis was charged with one count of sending a letter "containing threats to take the life of or to inflict bodily harm upon the president of the United States" and a count of sending a letter "containing a threat to injure the person of others."

We are living in very strange times.

Yes, I Know, Posting Has Been Light

I went up to New York at noon on Friday, to be up in time for Shabbos for my nephew Shlomo's wedding to Shira, and juxtaposed with that, the car charger for my Palm^® Centro^™ went South, and first thing Monday morning headed back to Baltimore, heading directly to work.

The wedding, held Sunday evening, was a lot of fun, with lots of (non-mixed) dancing, though, as always, my experience with very Orthodox life events, particularly those that are done to New York standards, is that I feel a bit like I'm in a room full of aliens.

As Shlomo hails from Memphis, the band rolled out an Elvis impersonator at one point.

And in the World of Ineffective Abusive Security Techniques .....

Mario Labbé, a frequent flying record executive in Montreal, has discovered that his name was erroneously on the no-fly list.

After many attempts to have this corrected, Mr. Labbechanged his name to François Mario Labbé, which ended his monthly harassment.

I'm not sure what concerns me more, that one can be put on the no-fly list with no recourse, or that you can fix it by tweaking your name.

So, I guess Osama bin Laden could fly around the United States as LeRoy Ricks, Professional Elvis Impersonator.<sup>*

*</sup>3 Shows a day in Vegas......Think about it. It's the last place that anyone would look for bin Laden.