This is Not The Onion

E=mc²: Could it be ………… Satan?

Andy Schlafley, daughter of noted wingnut Phyllis, has declared that Einstein's theory of relativity is a liberal conspiracy:

The theory of relativity is a mathematical system that allows no exceptions. It is heavily promoted by liberals who like its encouragement of relativism and its tendency to mislead people in how they view the world.

……

See, e.g., historian Paul Johnson's book about the 20th century, and the article written by liberal law professor Laurence Tribe as allegedly assisted by Barack Obama. Virtually no one who is taught and believes relativity continues to read the Bible, a book that outsells New York Times bestsellers by a hundred-fold

Seriously, you cannot make this sh$# up.