For the Record, I've Never Been THIS Drunk

Damn, that's the 2nd drunkest that I've ever heard of.

Man mistakes straw bale for stricken woman, gives it CPR

By Daniel Brownstein

A Hilton Head Island man confused bales of pine straw with a dead woman, and tried to resuscitate them early Tuesday morning, according to a sheriff's report.

The 39-year-old called deputies to the parking lot of Hilton Head Cabanas, 32 South Forest Beach Drive, at 1:49 a.m., saying he had just tried to perform CPR on a dead woman, according to the sheriff's report.

They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw.

When asked where the woman was, he pointed to the straw, the report stated.

.....