Headline of the Day

Republicans Unveil Secret Midterm Weapon, It Is Hasan Piker’s Dinglesmackus

—Wonkette, on the decision by Republicans to post a thirst trap picture of Hasan Piker on the Jumbotron at their mid term convention.

I'll be honest here, I am posting this because they used the term, "Dinglesmackus," in the title, and it made me laugh.

That term is almost as epic asd the term, "Snollygoster." 

It turns out that the mid term convention that they held in Dallas may go into the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's largest closet. 

If you follow American politics closely, you may remember two minutes ago, when the most important question for serious journalists to ask Democrats was “How old were you when you gay married Hasan Piker on a bed of rose petals while reading Jeremiah Wright sermons to each other sexually?” If you were Dana Bash or Kristen Welker or Jake Tapper or Axios or whoever, this was the most important issue, and the only question you had for Democrats, even Democrats who had nothing to do with the Twitch streamer named Hasan Piker, who had never heard of him.

They had no similar questions for Republicans about their actual associations and money-taking from actual Nazis and trillionaire antisemites, because Beltway journalists and New York Times reporters know the DC party invites dry up during fascist administrations if they stop licking fascist balls for one second.

This doesn’t happen to them during Democratic administrations because if there is one thing that is true about American politics it is that Democrats are desperate for the media to think they’re cool, while the media is desperate for Republicans to think they’re cool. Like so, the pattern of abuse perpetuates itself. Maybe some of these new crop of Team Fight Democrats can break the cycle.

But two minutes ago, or last night, at the sold-out Trump Republican Midterm Convention (many tickets still available), Republicans revealed their secret weapon for the midterms, which changed everything, and it was a thirst trap of Hasan Piker’s willysmacker on the Jumbotron:

Y’all.

[image or embed]

— The Tennessee Holler (@thetnholler.bsky.social) September 9, 2026 at 8:14 PM

………

So this is hilarious, and Christ, Republicans are so weird and unable to hide their bizarre psychosexual issues for even one fucking second. As you can see in the Piker livestream clip, this all happened during a scare montage about tHe rAdiCAl LeFt, and it was all communism! and China! and trans kids playing teeball! and then suddenly on the screen there was Hasan Piker in his underpants in a selfie he posted on Instagram.

This was supposed to prove … something? But what it really showed was that a really big part of what Republicans hate about Hasan Piker, what really grinds their gears, what they hate about Abdul El-Sayed, what they hate about Zohran Mamdani, Jon Ossoff, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, is that they are hot and Republicans really really really really really really really want to fuck them. And that makes Republicans seethe with rage and jealousy, and it makes them hate themselves even more than they usually do, which is a lot.

 These are very weird people.