01 April 2026

Well, This Was Not on My F%$#ing Bingo Card

Byron Noem, husband, and cuck, of former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem, has been exposed as a cross dressing "Bimboification" fetishist.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. 

I'm just a surprised, even though I have said time and time again that every one of their accusations is a confession.

In the spectrum of creepy GOP sleaze, this one is up there with the Jerry Falwell ally who  died in bizarre auto-asphyxia accident involving a closet, wet suits (plural),  and a dildo in his anus

Clearly, fiction writers are going to have a problem writing something weirder than this. 

Kristi Noem's husband is today revealed as a secret cross-dresser who dons gigantic fake breasts and pink hotpants to chat with online fetish models.

While his wife has operated at the highest echelons of government, handling matters of national security in her recent role as secretary of homeland security, Bryon Noem, 56, has been dressing up and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty.

The Daily Mail has reviewed hundreds of messages involving three women from the 'bimbofication' scene – where porn performers transform themselves into real-life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into their breasts.

Bryon has lavished praise on their surgically enhanced bodies, confessed his lust for 'huge, huge ridiculous boobs,' and even made indiscreet remarks about his 34-year marriage to Kristi, our investigation can exclusively disclose.

National Security experts consulted by the Daily Mail said his brazen behavior could have left the 54-year-old MAGA favorite, who oversaw ICE's aggressive crackdown until she was removed from her position on March 5, vulnerable to blackmail.

If you are worried about vulnarability to blackmail, perhaps Kristi Noem's affair with Cory Lewandoski, or her bragging about shooting a puppy.

Those are kind of red flags to a lot of security folks. 

As an FYI, there are some pictures at The Mail, but I am not sharing them here.

Also, this is not an April Fools joke. 

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