Headline of the Day

Chuck Schumer Should Be Humanely Euthanized ⃰

—Ken Klippenstein on lox eating surrender monkey Chuck Schumer.

I should start that he qualifies the above statement with "Politically/metaphorically, of course."

I'm less eloquent and creative, so I just quote Futurama, and say that Schumer should be fired, "Out of a cannon, into the sun."

It's clear that Schumer and Durban were hip deep in the cave.

They chose people who either were retiring or were not up for reelection this cycle. 

This has his finger prints all over it.

74-year-old Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer just crashed his party’s car so badly that it’s time to take his keys away. And not when he’s up for reelection in three years. Now.

After plunging the country into its longest government shutdown ever, eight Senate members from the Democratic Party caucus folded on Sunday, joining their Republican colleagues in voting to open the federal government.

The defections took place without any meaningful healthcare concessions — the whole point of the shutdown in the first place — and in a clear break with the rest of the Party, most notably helpless Chuck.

This is far from Schumer’s only car crash as leader, but this time many of his insurers in the Democratic Party seem unwilling to cover the damages. Nearly a dozen House Democrats are calling for his ouster. These are not just progressives, but moderates too, like Seth Moulton of Massachusetts, Mike Levin of California, and Glenn Ivey of Maryland. 

(Apologies to Art Buichwald and Theodore Seuss Geisel)

Charles E. Schumer will you please go now!
The time has come.
The time has come.
The time is now.
Just go.
Go.
Go!
I don't care how.
You can go by foot.
You can go by cow.
Charles E. Schumer will you please go now!
You can go on skates.
You can go on skis.
You can go in a hat.
But
Please go.
Please!
I don't care.
You can go
By bike.
You can go
On a Zike-Bike
If you like.
If you like
You can go
In an old blue shoe.
Just go, go, GO!
Please do, do, do, DO!
Charles E. Schumer
I don't care how.
Charles E. Schumer
Will you please
GO NOW!
You can go on stilts.
You can go by fish.
You can go in a Crunk-Car
If you wish.
If you wish
You may go
By lion's tale.
Or stamp yourself
And go by mail.
Charles E. Schumer
Don't you know
The time has come
To go, go, GO!
Get on your way!
Please Charles E.!
You might like going in a Zumble-Zay.
You can go by balloon . . .
Or broomstick.
Or
You can go by camel
In a bureau drawer.
You can go by bumble-boat
. . . or jet.
I don't care how you go.
Just get!
Charles E. Schumer!
I don't care how.
Charles E. Schumer
Will you please
GO NOW!
I said
GO
And
GO
I meant . . .
The time had come
So . . .
Charles WENT."