Let There Be No Kings……

In 1997, I was reading Usenet,^* and my wife rushed in, and told me that Diana, Princess of Wales, was in a serious car wreck, and I paraphrased the words of George Washington^† to her, noting that the affairs of the British royal family is really not a proper for Americans to exhibit the level of fascination that it does with the subjects of the crown.

Well, I now learn that Prince William and his long time girl friend Kate Middleton will get married, and so I feel compelled to add both of them to my list of They Who Must Not Be Named.

Unlike many of the other denizens of the list, I do so without malice.

I have no knowledge of any specific wrongdoing from either of them, and I wish the happy couple the best.

I just never want to hear about them.

That being said, in homage to our founding fathers, who thumbed their nose at the British crown, I feel an obligation to engage in a snark before consigning them to the list, and the good folks at The Awl found what is likely the best snark on the internet:

In any event, welcome to the best Internet comment ever, from here: "Her parents can't be overly happy. She has been largely unemployed since she left school and is now marrying someone who has been on welfare most of his life. With the new government's promise to cut housing benefit and force those who repeatedly turn down work into manual labour I do worry for them."

Heh.

In any case I have no interests in toothless constitutional monarchs.

^*Yes, remember Usenet? It was a wonderful way for people with common interests to get together, but eventually, the trolls, spammers, and the rest of the tragedy of the commons, drove most of the useful dialogue to other technologies.
^†Actually, his response to the suggestion that he be king was far more eloquent and evocative:

To Lewis Nicola

George Washington

Newburgh, May 22, 1782

Sir: With a mixture of great surprise and astonishment I have read with attention the Sentiments you have submitted to my perusal. Be assured Sir, no occurrence in the course of the War, has given me more painful sensations than your information of there being such ideas existing in the Army as you have expressed, and I must view with abhorrence, and reprehend with severety. For the present, the communication of them will rest in my own bosom, unless some further agitation of the matter, shall make a disclosure necessary.

I am much at a loss to conceive what part of my conduct could have given encouragement to an address which to me seems big with the greatest mischiefs that can befall my Country. If I am not deceived in the knowledge of myself, you could not have found a person to whom your schemes are more disagreeable; at the same time in justice to my own feelings I must add, that no Man possesses a more sincere wish to see ample justice done to the Army than I do, and as far as my powers and influence, in a constitutional way extend, they shall be employed to the utmost of my abilities to effect it, should there be any occasion. Let me conjure you then, if you have any regard for your Country, concern for yourself or posterity, or respect for me, to banish these thoughts from your Mind, and never communicate, as from yourself, or any one else, a sentiment of the like Nature. With esteem I am.