Best Apology Ever!

Writer J.D. Shapiro, apologizing for being the 1^st script writer for Battlefield Earth.

Seriously, I cannot do justice to this, not can I provide excerpts that do justice, but here is a sample:

During my Scientology research, I met an employee who I instantly had a crush on. She was kind of a priestess, and had dedicated her life to working for the church by becoming a Sea Org member. She said that she signed a billion-year contract. I said, "What! Really?" She said she got paid a small stipend of $50 a week, to which I said, "Can you get an advance on the billion years, like say, a mere $500,000?" And then she said as a Sea Org member, you can't have sex unless you're married. I asked her if she was married. She said yes. So I said, "Great! That means we can have sex!"

It is simply exquisite!

Go read.