A Real Hero

I am referring, of course, to Sean Dunn, aka ",Sandwich Guy," who is now on trial for misdemeanor assault for throwing his salami sub at an ICE Border Patrol agent.

They tried to indict him for a felony repeatedly, but the grand jury found the prosecutor's insistence that he was a natural-break terrorist to be complete baloney.

What is remarkable is that the victim of the, "Fighting hoagie from the sky," has already been caught out in a lie.

He said that the sandwich exploded, covering him condiments of mass destruction, but the pictures clearly show the  sandwich intact.  (Well done whoever wrapped it)

Said agent complained about the smell, and the fact that his cow-orkers teased him over the incident.

Oh the huge manatee. 

The trial of Sean Dunn, the D.C. man charged with throwing a Subway sandwich at a federal agent this summer, is officially underway—and off to a hilarious start.

After federal prosecutors failed to charge Dunn with a felony, they’re now attempting to get him on misdemeanor assault. And the testimony the “assaulted” officer is sharing of his traumatic sandwich encounter is harrowing indeed.

According to court records and video footage of the foot-long fight, Dunn yelled at Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore and other federal agents, calling them “fucking fascists” and saying, “I don’t want you in my city!” before hurling the hoagie at Lairmore, who was wearing a bulletproof vest.

Lairmore testified in court Monday that he was not injured by the sandwich, according to HuffPost reporter Dave Jamieson. However, he said it “kind of exploded” on his chest.

“I could smell the onions and mustard,” Lairmore said. 

However, the defense pressed Lairmore on whether the sandwich really exploded by referring to a photo of the sandwich, still wrapped, on the ground.

“The sandwich hasn’t exploded at all, has it?” the defense asked.

“It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom,” Lairmore replied.

Lairmore also testified that he received gag gifts from fellow officers after the ordeal: a sandwich plushie toy and a patch that said “Felony Footlong.”

And whiny snowflake Larimore is a lying sack of sh%$.