When D. Allan Kerr writes that the solution to school shootings is to arm the children, he is channeling Jonathan Swift's satirical essay A Modest Proposal For preventing the Children of Poor People From being a Burthen to Their Parents or Country, and For making them Beneficial to the Publick (generally just called A Modest Proposal).
For those of you who do not get the reference, first be ashamed of your ignorance, and know that Jonathan Swift proposed, among other things, the roasting and eating of Irish children to alleviate the famine. "A young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout."
Much like the Swift, Kerr is mocking the people whose solutions to school shootings are proposals which make everything demonstrably worse:
When did the National Rifle Association become such a bunch of wimps?
During their convention in Texas just days after the horrific massacre at a nearby elementary school, advocates called for arming teachers and increasing police presence in classrooms. But as they say, go big or go home.
D. Allan Kerr
The answer to bring mass shootings in our schools to an end is right there in front of us, but no one wants to say it. So, I will.
It’s time to arm the kids themselves. If the answer to gun violence is more guns, it’s really the most logical solution.
This reminds me of an essay penned by my dad's childhood friend in Willamette Week regarding the proposal to require that cats be licensed in Multnomah County when I was a freshman in high school.
It also involved recipes, and humorless people were still incensed over this when I graduated from Woodrow Wilson High School.
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