The Horror………(Debate Edition)

9:07 OK, I'm done. Time to pick up Nat.

9:06 Michael Bloomberg mentions the naked cowboy, a New York City institution.

9:05 Sanders notes that the profit motive is what drives hospitals out of rural areas.

9:04 Pete Buttigieg who systematically excluded blacks from political participation in South Bend, argues for more black political participation. Cognitive dissonance.

9:03 Klobuchar calls free public tuition as a give away to rich kids. F%$# her with Cheney's dick.

9:01 Steyer just said the truest thing of the evening, that every major policy issue in the United States has a subtext of race. Major Props.

9:00 Biden is asked about helping inequality on race, and he talks about entrepreneurship grants.

8:59 Michael Bloomberg is a self-important pompous ass.

8:57 Klobuchar talks about building coalitions on housing and education, and Charlie says that he wants to go into airplane mode, as in FLYING INTO A BUILDING.

8:56 F%$# me, they are now taking questions from Twitter. Just f%$#ing kill me.

8:55 Buttigieg notes that he is married to a school teacher.

8:54 Sanders largely echoes Warren on this.

8:53 Warren savages charter schools and high stakes testing. Probably got a few teacher votes there.

8:52 Bloomberg gives a full throated defense of charter schools, because of course he does, because Wall Street sees it as a profit center.

8:50 Steyer suggests term limits for Senate, excuse me while I vomit.

8:49 Sanders is just weak on gun control.

8:47 Buttigieg goes after Sanders for not opposing the filibuster. Mayo Pete is right. Kill the filibuster.

8:46 Klobuchar claims that she can get gun control because she is from Minnesota? Whiskey Tango Forxtrot?

8:45 Sanders asked about his votes against gun control, he notes that they were bad votes, and he was wrong. Best possible response.

8:44 Warren notes that the problem is the filibuster.

8:43 Biden claims that he beat the gun manufacturers, notes that there are 150 MILLION gun deaths since the passage of the Brady Bill. Maybe he means 150 thousand?

8:42 Gayle King and Nora O'Donnell are now joined by Margaret Brennan, Major Garrett, and Bill Whitaker.

8:40 OMFG!!!! There is a Mike Bloomberg add!!! Motherf%$#er!

8:38 Advertising break. Walmart ad, f%$# Walmart.

8:37 Warren notes (correctly) that the actual progressive agenda is overwhelmingly popular. Line of the night so far, "We have to choose hope over fear."

8:36 Bernie notes that he polls better against Trump than anyone else on stage.

8:35 Bloomberg: I may have funded Graham, but I also funded Democrats. Theme of the night for everyone but Warren is, "Bernie is dangerous."

8:34 Klobuchar speaks, and my son, Charlie, who does not drink, wants my rum. I want my rum.

8:33 Steyer notes that Biden wrote that awful crime bill in the 1990s.

8:31 Biden notes that Steyer bought a horrific private prison.

8:30 Buttigieg talks about how Sanders is a danger to the party.

8:29 Steyer claims that the current choices are a Democratic Socialist and a Republican.

8:28 Lots of cross talk. The moderators are losing control.

8:25 Klobuchar goes on Jihad against Medicare for All.

8:25 Sanders is asked about how to pay for Medicare for All, and Sanders notes that Lancet article that shows that Sanders saves $450 billion annually.

8:23 Bloomberg denies the baby story, Buttigieg notes that it's going to be litigated until election day.

8:22 Colloquy between Warran and Bloomberg, and Warren, and Warren again demands release from the non-disclosure agreements.

8:21 Now, Warren is telling the Bloomberg the "Kill the Baby," story.

8:19 Bloomberg's response, "A noun, a verb, and 911."

8:18 Warren is asked about why she said that Bloomberg is not the safe choice. Woo hoo!!!!!! She goes after how Bloomberg donated to Lindsey Graham and other right wingers. Bloomberg wincing. HAH!!!!

8:17 Klobuchar specifically says that Bloomberg's stop and frisk program was racist. She raises voter suppression. Good for her.

8:16 Buttigieg is asked about his dubious racial record, and he goes kumbuya. Meh.

8:15 Bloomberg is asked about stop and frisk, and he shucks and jives.

8:14 Props to CBS for only having 2 moderators on stage on at a time.

8:13 Biden says that he will win South Carolina.

8:12 Pete has a hissy fit over that. He's crying all the way to the wine cave.

8:11 Sanders states his support for the increase in the minimum wage, free college tuition, and Medicare for all. Then he calls out Buttigieg's sucking up to billionaires.

8:10 Joe Biden changes the subject, brings up the valid point that Sanders' record on gun control is weak, and wraps himself in the flag of Barack. Probably the best he can do.

8:08 Pete Buttigieg talks about how the real problem is divisiveness. I just realized that Mayor Mayo is a poster child for Backpfeifengesicht, a face that begs to be slapped.

8:07 Warren argues that she has achieved more success than Sanders. Respectful, and a good point.

8:05 Bloomberg suggests that Sanders is Putin's version of the Manchurian Candidate. I want a f%$#ing drink, so bad right now. He'll, I'm tempted to smoke crack after that.

8:04 They ask Sanders why, if the economy is so good, how can he argue for socialism. Big fat one up the middle for Sanders who rattles off how many people are not doing well.

8:03 CBS is partnering with Twitter, #DemDebates. I'll use #DeezeNuts.

8:02 The 7 candidates, Sanders, Biden, Buttigieg, Warren, Klobuchar, Steyer, & Bloomberg.

8:00pm And the debates start the standard network fluff pretending that this is the Super Bowl. It's more like the Super Bowel.

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I will attempt a limited live blogging of the Presidential debates.

I have to leave pick up my NJ from rehearsal at about 9 pm, so I can't drink, and obviously, I'll be unable to comment then, because I will be on the road.

I will be SOBER!

Damn your eyes.