08 November 2016

I Will be Drunk Blogging the Election

I will be bouncing around various channels, but here is the game
Take a sip:
  • Every mention of exit polls. 
  • Any mention of the ground game. 
  • Any mention of millennials. 
 Take 2 sips:
  • Any mention of Reagan. 
  • Any mention of Bill Clinton's penis. 
  • The word "Battle Ground". 
  • The Democrats regain control of the Senate. 
  • Someone disparages millennials. 
Take a full shot:
  • CNN unveils a stupid flashy tech gimmick.
  • Evan McMullin wins Utah. 
  • Race is called for a candidate. 
  • Voting problems in Florida. 
  • Trump Refuses to Concede. 
  • Trump starts trying to sell the Trump network.
  • A winner is declared.
  • The Republicans retain control of the Senate. 
  • The Democrats regain control of the House. 
Finish off the bottle:
  • When they rip off their masks and reveal themselves to be Kang and Kodos.
  • Trump admits that this was actually the greatest practical joke of all time.
Screw it.  I'm just going to wing it, starting at 9:00pm, after I pick up Charlie from his youth group.

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