Google Mulls Jumping C. Megalodon*

This is one big shark that they jumped.
With Frikken Lasers!

So, now that the Chinese have hacked into Google, the Google has decided to throw in their lot with the National Security Agency to protect themselves:

The world's largest Internet search company and the world's most powerful electronic surveillance organization are teaming up in the name of cybersecurity.

Under an agreement that is still being finalized, the National Security Agency would help Google analyze a major corporate espionage attack that the firm said originated in China and targeted its computer networks, according to cybersecurity experts familiar with the matter. The objective is to better defend Google -- and its users -- from future attack.

Google and the NSA declined to comment on the partnership. But sources with knowledge of the arrangement, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said the alliance is being designed to allow the two organizations to share critical information without violating Google's policies or laws that protect the privacy of Americans' online communications. The sources said the deal does not mean the NSA will be viewing users' searches or e-mail accounts or that Google will be sharing proprietary data.

Of course, neither does giving money to a junkie mean that they will be buying heroin.

As Noah Schachtman notes, it doesn't require a tinfoil hat to think that it is possible, nay, even likely, that the NSA will use this access to suck data like a giant hoover. It's what they do:

But there’s a problem. The NSA and its predecessors also have a long history of spying on huge numbers of people, both at home and abroad. During the Cold War, the agency worked with companies like Western Union to intercept and read millions of telegrams. The during the war on terror years, the NSA teamed up with the telecommunications companies to eavesdrop on customers’ phone calls and Internet traffic right from the telcos’ switching stations. And even after the agency pledged to clean up its act — and was given wide new latitude to spy on whom they liked – the NSA was still caught “overcollecting” on U.S. citizens. According to the New York Times, the agency even “tried to wiretap a member of Congress without a warrant.”

All of which makes the NSA a particularly untrustworthy partner for a company that is almost wholly reliant on its customers’ trust and goodwill. We all know that Google automatically reads our G-Mail and scans our Google Calendars and dives into our Google searches, all in an attempt to put the most relevant ads in front of us. But we’ve tolerated the automated intrusions, because Google’s products are so good, and we believed that the company was since in its “don’t be evil” mantra.

The issue here is not that Google would voluntarily allow the NSA to access personally identifiable data, it is that they are ill equipped to defend themselves against a company that hoovered the entire Internet.

If the NSA does not leave a back door in the Google servers, without the knowledge of Google management, as part of their efforts, then they would not be doing their job properly.

This is like employing Lady Gaga as a model for tastefully modest evening wear.

^*The largest shark, and likely largest predator fish ever. It died out some 1.5 million years ago. The Genus is still in dispute, between either Carcharodon (Great White) or Carcharocles (broad toothed Mako). But in either case, you are jumping C. Megalodon, you have jumped the biggest shark ever.