Heard on the Innerwebs

H/t Jollyreaper at at the by-invitation-only Stellar Parthenon BBS.

The economy is so bad that:

• I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
• I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
• CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
• If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
• Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
• McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
• Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
• A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
• Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
• Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
• The Mafia is laying off judges.
• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen..
• Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

• I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.