Ahead Dork Factor 9*

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Only $2,999.99, but shipping is free!!

I present to you the Star Trek: The Original Series: Classic Captain's Chair Replica:

Throw away that Lay-Z-Boy. Here's a life-size throne fit for a captain! With the sci-fi status and geek grandeur of Captain Kirk's command chair in your collection, you can boldly go where no fan has gone before! This full-size prop replica of the U.S.S. Enterprise's captain's chair is designed from detailed drawings supplied by Paramount Studios and is approved by Paramount. It delivers all the accents and details from the historic prop, along with modern lighting, sound effects, and phrases designed to thrill any Star Trek enthusiast. It's the ultimate prize from the Enterprise! The unbelievable captain's chair measures 41-inches tall x 42-inches wide x 39-inches deep. It weighs about 215 pounds! The working swivel seat with wooden handles, leather seat cover, and armrest controls make this the perfect addition to any collection, display, home theater, or museum! The chair, seat of the chair, and arms of the chair are made of wood, with the seat covered in leather. For rigidity, it's mounted on an iron base. Limited edition of 1,701 pieces worldwide. Left-hand arm controls include: Shuttle operation controls Activation of viewscreen Hailing frequencies Right-hand controls include: Red alert Yellow alert Jettison pod Micro tape player Intercom controls With a push of a button, voice clips from the show can be heard: 'This is Captain James Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise.' 'Lt. Uhura, open a channel to all decks.' 'Security Alert to all decks. Kirk out.' 'Kirk to Engineering, Mr. Scott."

At 215 pounds, it's going to be murder getting it down the stairs to your parent's basement, where the purchaser clearly lives.

I like Star Trek. I saw a few episodes when I was 6. But if you want a captain's chair, and you can't search the net for plans, so you spend 3 grand on a chair in which most of the buttons do not work, or even press down, you are really very lame.

^*Alas, I cannot take credit for this bon mot. It was from Bladesmith at the by invitation only Stellar Parthenon BBS.