How to Say, “I’m Guilty as F%$#,” without Saying, “I’m Guilty as F%$#.

One of the Texas house impeachment managers, Rep. Andrew Murr. That is one EPIC mustache

I'm not talking about Donald Trump, I'm talking about hopefully-soon-to-be-former Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, who went to extraordinary lengths to conceal his relationship with the real estate developer who was bribing him.

We are talking dead drops in East Berlin kind of bullsh%$: 

In new allegations revealed Wednesday, Texas House investigators accused suspended Attorney General Ken Paxton of engaging in a complex cover-up to hide his relationship with real estate investor Nate Paul as senior aides grew increasingly concerned about Paxton’s willingness to use his office to benefit Paul.

The subterfuge allegedly included Paxton and Paul creating an Uber account under an alias so they could meet each other and so the attorney general could visit the woman with whom he was having an extramarital affair.

And once Paxton learned several high-ranking officials in his office reported his behavior to the FBI, the House impeachment managers alleged, he took immediate steps to cover up his relationship with Paul, including wiring a $122,000 payment to a Paul-affiliated company in an effort to hide home renovations that Paul had provided for free.………

Responding to Paxton’s pretrial motions that seek to dismiss all 20 articles of impeachment, including four that will not be included in the Sept. 5 impeachment trial, House managers also detailed multiple actions in which Paxton allegedly sought to use his office to benefit Paul.

………

Instead, House managers alleged, Paxton became increasingly “entangled in Paul’s web of deceit” and “went to great lengths” to hide his relationship with Paul — using a burner phone and secret email accounts, ditching his security detail and using the fake Uber name to be “ferried to his lover’s or Paul’s properties more than a dozen times.”

In response to Paul’s favors — including allegedly employing the woman [with whom Paxton was having an affair] and paying to remodel Paxton’s home — Paxton “continually abused the power of his office to advance Paul’s aims,” House managers alleged. 

This guy has been using his office to enrich himself and protect himself from allegations of corruption for almost a decade.

Here's hoping that he ends up sharing a cell with Nate Paul in a Texas prison, preferably the Polunsky Unit.