I Can Haz Prosecushuns?

So, FTX is now going after Bankman and Fried for their role in looting the crypto exchange FTX.

It turns out that Sam Bankman-Fried's parents,  Joseph Bankman and Barbara Fried, were hip deep in his crypto scam.

In a perfect world, they would go to jail too, but taking their money is an adequate substitute:

FTX yesterday sued Sam Bankman-Fried's parents, alleging that Joseph Bankman and Barbara Fried "exploited their access and influence within the FTX enterprise to enrich themselves" at the expense of FTX customers.

FTX's lawsuit against Bankman and Fried was filed in US Bankruptcy Court for the District of Delaware as part of bankruptcy proceedings involving FTX and Alameda Research. "Bankman and Fried siphoned millions of dollars out of the FTX Group for their own personal benefit and their chosen pet causes. This action seeks to hold them accountable for their misconduct and recover assets for the Debtors' creditors," the lawsuit claimed.

The civil lawsuit was filed about two weeks before Bankman-Fried's criminal trial, which is scheduled to begin on October 3. Four former FTX executives already pleaded guilty to criminal charges.

In February 2022, Bankman and Fried were deeded "a $16.4 million luxury residence in The Bahamas," a 30,000-square-foot property referred to as "Blue Water," the lawsuit said.

"The total cash payment for Blue Water amounted to $18,914,327.82, inclusive of all costs, taxes, and fees. Neither Bankman nor Fried contributed any money of their own towards the purchase of Blue Water," the lawsuit said. The property was allegedly "paid for with funds ultimately provided by FTX Trading," while "Bankman and Fried enjoyed the benefits of more than $90,000 in expenses, paid for by FTX Trading, for their Bahamas residence."

Bankman additionally received a $10 million gift of Alameda funds, FTX said. Nearly $6.8 million of that was transferred to the couple's joint bank accounts, FTX said. "Bankman’s command of tax law and unique understanding of the FTX Group’s muddled corporate structure allowed him to facilitate the transfer of a cash gift totaling $10 million to himself and Fried consisting of Alameda Ltd. funds," the lawsuit said.

"Bankman and Fried also pushed for tens of millions of dollars in political and charitable contributions, including to Stanford University, which were seemingly designed to boost Bankman's and Fried's professional and social status at the expense of the FTX Group, and by extension, its customers and other creditors," the lawsuit said.

To quote Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) from the movie Trading Places, "You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people."