Oprah Winfrey Is the Kindest, Bravest, Warmest, Most Wonderful Human Being I've Ever Known in My Life

Guess who's considering a Presidential run in 2020:

Oprah Winfrey is "actively thinking" about running for president, two of her close friends told CNN Monday.

The two friends, who requested anonymity in order to speak freely, talked in the wake of Winfrey's extraordinary speech at the Golden Globes Sunday night, which spurred chatter about a 2020 run.

Some of Winfrey's confidants have been privately urging her to run, the sources said. One of the sources said these conversations date back several months. The person emphasized that Winfrey has not made up her mind about running. 

A representative for Winfrey has not responded to requests for comment.

In related news, animal trainers close to Lassie have stated that the famous gender fluid^* Collie is receptive to being Oprah's Vice Presidential pick.

Just kill me.

Seriously, just kill me.

^*FWIW, in all the Lassie movies and TV shows the character was a female dog, but the actor was a male dog, because male Collies are larger and more physically impressive.^†
†I'm unreasonably smug about the fact that I managed to make it through this entire "Lassie" bit without resorting to making some sort of crude pun on the professional term for a female dog.