21 October 2011

God Bless Gawker

Call Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein on His Cell Phone and Cheer Him Up

It's been a rough day for Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein. His company reported a humiliating $428 million quarterly loss this morning, just the second in Goldman's 12-year history as a public company. We figured he might like a sympathy call from the Occupy Wall Street folks, who know how to get by with less. Here's his cell phone number.

Last week's effort to put Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit in touch with the Wall Street protesters worked so well we thought we'd expand the program.

Here are some pick-me-up messages you might want to deliver to Blankfein: "I know you just lost half a billion dollars, but look on the bright side—you've set aside $10 billion in bonuses to pay out to your 34,200 employees." Or, "Hey, just do what I do when I run out of money—head over to the Fed's discount window and borrow more at no interest." Or, "Just think how much worse the loss would be if you hadn't had the foresight to snag that $13 billion taxpayer-financed pass-through bailout via AIG." Or, "We've all got to eat a shitty deal once in a while."

H/t MP at the Stellar Parthenon BBS.


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