Well, wait no more. There is Assistant Attorney General Roland Corning, who wages a war on the business lunch that makes the fictional "war on Christman" look like an arcade game.
It appears that Corning, age 66, was hanging out in his car at a graveyard with an 18 year old stripper, along with Viagra and sex toys, and when police officer Michael Wines showed up in a marked car, Corning, "attempted to make a hasty retreat, spinning the tires in the driveway and accelerating rapidly."
It gets better. When finally apprehended, the police verify who he is by calling the Attorney General's office, where his wife answers the phone, and then
The high point of the police report:
The search revealed a sex enhancement drug and some sex toys. According to the report, Corning told Wines he had a prescription for the medication and the other items were always in the car "just in case."(emphasis mine)
Just in case....Yeah sure....I always carry sex toys and Viagra in my car....Why do you think that they call them "Jumper Cables."